Someone thanked me today for my courage. I appreciate the compliment, but I would be mistaken to accept it quietly. It simply isn't true.
Courage is when someone runs into a burning house to save a child. Or when someone runs into a battlefield to protect his home, his country, his people. Or when someone gives up a kidney to save a loved one. It involves a choice to put oneself at risk to save another.
That is not my situation. I have had no choice. My platelet count was 4 today (300 normal). I had to return to the hospital this evening for a platelet transfusion so that I can stay alive. There is no choice involved.
There are moments when I feel like standing up in a crowd and shouting at the top of my lungs "This is not FAIR!" There are moments when I find myself judging other patients who have obviously not made the same healthy choices that I have in my life. There are moments when I weep.
There was no choice in my situation--thus no courage. There is a lesson in acceptance and there may be perspective.
Perspective that we should cherish every single moment, every single blade of grass, every single note of our favorite song. Perspective that we should cherish each other, let bygones be bygones and let love guide us. Perspective that we should banish every single negative thought that dares to enter our consciousness, that time is precious and that there is no time for negativity.
Are we making peace or war with every single moment of our lives? This is the question that takes courage for each of us to answer to noone but ourselves.
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Karen:
ReplyDeleteSending you love and light on your path. Thank you for your beautiful insights.
Take care,
Karen Frank
Graet article makes feel my inner conscience..
ReplyDeletetanx
santos
You are an inspiration --(as in breath . . . breathe) thank you.
ReplyDeleteDeborah
Thank you, Karen, for your inspiring perspective!
ReplyDeleteI do see courage, and beauty in your response.
Wishing much love to see you through--
a hug across the miles,
mac
Well, Karen...My guess is the person who went into the house to save the child, or the one who gave up a kidney for a loved one, etc...also felt that they didn't have a choice. I don't know... There are those who say that the only choice any of us have in this life is on the inside, how we carry reactions/responses inside of ourselves, how much we accept or try to rise above or project or deny...how much we kick and scream or whine or wallow in self-pity. Maybe those types of responses are where real choice is. And from that perspective, you have shown remarkable courage and equanimity...a true Yogi!! I'm so glad that you're sharing ALL of your feelings, because of course they're all in there. To pretend otherwise would create another sort of stress. So, my hat is off to you, dear Karen. You are being a teacher to me and I appreciate it. There is so much grace in the midst of this nightmare, it's so beautiful to me. Thank you for sharing all of yourself. Love, Camille
ReplyDeleteKaren-- I was in your yoga class some time back and was thinking of coming back and saw that you canceled classes. I'm sorry to hear that you're not well.
ReplyDeleteKaren, my sister, Marian Small is a Naturopathic doctor in Seattle and is amazing. If you would like some alternative support you can contact her at: 206-322-4416 or check her out at: http://www.mariansmall.net/
Take care,
Stephanie Marston
I continue to think of you in the beautiful Pacific NW and hope your surroundings are good medicine in themselves. You are in my meditations, too. Your native strength and determination are serving you well -- as are the many times you have given so much and so kindly to others. Love and blessings, Paul C'wood
ReplyDeleteBut the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
ReplyDeleteAgainst such things there is no law.
Galatians 5:22-23 (New International Version)
Karen,
ReplyDeleteYou continue to amaze. Even with only 3 platelets, you still have a sense of humor. Some wise woman once said, "It's easy to be courageous if you have never been challenged". ( or something thus) I think we all wonder how we would respond given a situation like yours. I only hope I would do as well.
When I told my kayaker friend, Kim, about your situation, she said "Jeez, when something like that happens, those of us who have not had something like that happen to us - yet - need to stop and think about what we are doing with our lives". What keeps repeating itself in my mind is the word "yet". It is so true. Any one of us could wake up tomorrow with a similar predicament.
If there is anything I can do to help, please let me know. I tried to look up Emily's phone number, but it is unlisted. So, Emily - if you're reading this - please call or email if you need anything at all. 820-3137 susan.coulter@gmail.com
Susan
"Are we making peace or war with every single moment of our lives". Best question ever to ask ourselves.
ReplyDeleteI am thinking of you all the time. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and letting us know what is going on. Love Robin J.
I agree, this last quote has been in my thoughts ever since I read it - you are still teaching all of us, still reaching out, which takes courage in itself.
ReplyDeleteYour wisdom is such a gift, but I just wish it wasn't attached to such a painful experience - pulling for you and wishing you comfort today, every day.
love, Erin