Anita's World

Anita, my Indian cook, was born into a poor family. Her parents married her off in an arranged marriage when she was a mere girl of 13 to a 30 year old man. She had no choice in the arrangement. She's had two boys: both were cesarean births as the doctors told her that she was too underdeveloped to birth the natural way.

Her husband is unemployed and spends the greater part of his day drinking. When asked why she doesn't leave him, she replies in her broken English that she has nowhere to go. Her mother’s house is one room and a brother with his wife and four children, including her older son, live there. She and the younger son still live in the husband's house, though they spend a lot of time at mums. When the younger son asks why his father is passed out and smells so bad, Anita tells the child that the father is sick and the bad smell is his medicine, which I suppose is not so far from the truth.

She wants a divorce, but needs a place to live first. When I told her that I wanted to see her house and that I wanted to give her all of my cooking supplies and food reserves on Friday (which is my last day in Pune), she said that we should take it all to her mother's house or the mother-in-law would simply take it away from her. She assures me that her children will marry someone they choose.

She is now 28 years old, speaks broken English, has a beautiful smile with sparkling eyes, a quick laugh and has two beautiful young boys aged 10 and 7 (I'm guessing). She brought the boys to the house on Saturday so that I could meet them. While they speak only a few numbers in English, the boys are clearly intelligent, well-loved and happy. We listened to music on the computer, dancing around and playing the drum while Anita cooked lunch for me and a friend. May we all learn to live so gracefully under challenge.